Life of the Orange Ornaments

On Packing

2010-03-01T02:29:00.000-08:00

Enschede, sometimes in early March.

This morning I went up to my room and empty my fridge. Found a cup of straciatella yoghurt and decided to keep it for the night. It is expired though, but as usual I don't care. Yoghurt is rotten milk anyway. Last night I packed up all the things and gave away things to everybody. It is always nice to see our stuffs become useful for someone else. I did a magic call for a friend. It turned out he was very happy for inheriting old school testament, free food, free party stuffs, and the most important is stack of origami papers. We wrapped up things with beers and chips and south East Asian little party.

The first round of packing was done.

Today I woke up in a not-so-strange room and had trouble finding my toiletries in too many cardboard boxes around me. I went to university feeling a lot sleepy, but by five managed to finish the tasks for today. Then I wrapped up things and go home, had too-sweet fried noodle and immediately fell asleep.

Looking all around me, every where are cardboard boxes and semi-packed stuffs. My room mate had a terrible hang over from last night and the smooth snore is all over the room.

I have so many stuffs and looking at the two big overloaded trash bag, I can not believe how many craps and useless things I've been keeping in my room all this time. Shoe boxes, plastic forks, water bottles, shirt I never dare to wear, two size bigger pants, paper, paper, and more papers. I feel uneasy throwing them, but once I decided to get them into the trash bag, they disappear from my life. I feel relieved.

Maybe my life is similarly like that. I have too many junks crowded in. And most of the time I wish that I can easily throw them in a trash bag. Because I believe I’m better if I focus on goals and important issues. But oh how I often curse my complicated mind. And how I wish now to efficiently packing my self.

Go away bad things. Shooh shooh.

So ugly without thoughts

2009-12-15T11:41:00.000-08:00

In the background: How soon is now?

The clock is ticking, very fast I must say. And here I am, stopping everything. Every work, conversation, just me and my thoughts. And the Smiths of course.

It is so hard to work my ass off this day. I try to do this, it didn’t work. Try other way, same thing happened. Take a break in order to get enlightment, then the guilty feelinfg crept in and I drag my ass off to work again. I might as well enjoy a cup of hot chocolate and baileys.

I could not write or post picture everywhere, I just can’t. And this blog lay out turned out to be so ugly. Watjefuk.

So the Smiths to the rescue enjoy this video:

Declaration of Dependence - orgasmic momento

2009-10-12T13:21:00.000-07:00

Without being endorsed by any brands or institutions, these are the stuffs I have been addicting to in recent days.

Latte Machiato – yes, a perfect combination of milk, foam and delicis coffee
Sultana – a guilt free biscuit
www.flickr.com/photos/atid - a perfect birthday present from a perfect lady. Yes, ma’am, will shout it loud to the world.
A newbie stripes sweater – can’t help it, for me stripes are cool and never run out of time. Yes, I’m a big fan of Where’s Wally.
A new famous brand winter jacket – a perfect birthday present for a perfect time
My brown and pink all-star shoes – have arrived savely last month and been successly replaced the function of brown boots until now.
Tom Yam, green curry, chicken soup or anything he cooked
Heineken – as always
Declaration of Dependence – new album by Kings of Convenience. Heart almost every song, every words and just can have enough words to explain it.

All of these things that I've done

2009-10-04T15:08:00.000-07:00

Today is a koopzondag day. That means shops, open at this first Monday at the month. Although not of all of them, Asian store refuses to participate in this event although I bet Chinesse store would like to do more. Since I need to buy a birthday present for a friend, I took as an excuse to stroll around.

The chill weather is running back, but the sun is shining. First stop is to buy a top-up credit for my friend somewhere in her origin country. I don’t know what her plan is, but let’s stop asking questions and just act. Next stop is a window shopping at Body shop where I usually feel like home and broke all at once. After that HEMA, for a very special smell and a one-stop-shopping place. And then walk around again to find earmuffs for my friend’s winter supplies. Unluckily, didn’t find one. Well, we found one, very fluffy and in pink color. He dislikes it, for sure. We wondered, earmuffs are one of the essential things, why don’t they just sell it everywhere, even in a supermarket? Drop at my favorite naturalist shop where we impulsively bought glycerine hand cream. Walk again, and smell the coffee. Ok, let’s sit under the sun and take a sip. Ouwh, first, let’s hit the bookstore. Spent too much time at the place as usual. I got a book and he got an interesting desktop table-tennis set. Had some snacks then relaxing at the café. Ordered coffee and revealed some of the fieldwork stories. The tiny cups of espresso arrived. Whopsie, not that one. I mean the warm big cups, so we ordered macchiato latte. Spent more time for more stories then walked home in a windy afternoon. Amused my self with the world web and tv. Cooked tasteless dinner but be happy with it anyway, after all the nutrition that counts.

All the store that I passed. All the meaningless stuffs that I bought. All the various drinks that I gulped. All the food that I indulge.

All these things that I've done. Just to let hours, days, weeks and month pass by, to be next to you.

Hold on baby, hold on.

…

When there's nowhere else to run / Is there room for one more son / One more son / If you can hold on, hold on

…

All the Things that I’ve Done- the Killers

On weight matters

2009-08-30T20:12:00.000-07:00

During the fieldwork, an extraordinary tall Professor from my department dig a hole using an auger and his body weight.

"You know I weight 100kg," he said.

"And it's all brain, " he added.

I stared at him, amazed. "I weight less than 50kg, and I think not half of them are brain."

He laughed and tapped my shoulder.

He is more than 2 meters tall but manage to stay low as me. I soooooo adore him :)

The weather man

2009-07-24T08:20:00.000-07:00

wet wet wet is in the town. not the music group with sexy long-hair vocalist, mind you. literally watery wet.
this afternoon at the elevator i met one of my colleagues. she always dress nicely, very much girly. i think she's somewhat a fashionholic. today, she's wearing white sleeveless t-shirt with embroidery on it, a pedal pusher denim trousers and a beautiful strappy sandals. i really wish i wore those sandals. the sun was shining when we did a check on termostat.
19!
she wished she saw at least 24.
i laughed. i don't trust the sunshine anymore, said i. i mean, i'm glad when it is warm and sun shiny, and i always make a good use of it. but i don't expect them to stay longer.
i take a look at my self at the mirror. i was tempted to wear a short skirt but recently i don't pay much attention to the outfit. so, white cross t-shirt, bell bottom pair of jeans and teva's pair. that's it. and choose a jacket according to the mood.
and here i am now, at the end of the day, when suddenly the rain was pouring heavily.

ouw wow. sometimes i am glad that i am more into comfortable things than a glittery look. and this is also the same case with people.

ok, guys. gotta go back to the work. gotta stop blogging for a while. even more when this blog turns to be a weather report rather than a documentation of a college student life.
maybe i should get a life.

So I'm listening for the weather to predict the coming day
Leave all thought of expectation to the weather man
No it doesn't really matter what it is he has to say
'Cause tomorrows keep on blowing in from somewhere
…
Listening to ther weather – Bic Runga

An empty hall

2009-05-26T13:04:00.000-07:00

A while ago I had an online conversation with a close friend. We always communicate online although I know we should do this in persons. We’re kinda close, at heart. He asked me what I was doing, and I said that I’m in the missing of someone. He laughed, and I was sad. I mumbled, it is painful to know that we could not meet a person because of the distance. He laughed harder, said that as long was we are still in the same world, don’t take anything for granted.

I stopped and thought. Now I have friends all over the various latitude and longitude, the numbers added up quite fast. When we were together, I hold their hands tight and smiled, knowing that the moment would finally arrive. And I really wish that I could fly my own jumbo jet to meet them again. This time, it would be in their home towns, where I could see their families, their university, their favorite restaurants and taste their favorite local beer brand. I know, that close friend of mine must be laughing again because he imagined this kind of thing before any of my single thoughts.

But what if, I don’t have the ticket to ride? So, those last times at the train station were the last time I saw their faces with my very eyes. What if, they would be transferred to the other world?

I gulped the air in my empty throat.

Another friend of mine comforted me. Also in an online conversation, so I could not see her gorgeous look and big eyes. She said, from the very start we must realize that all is temporary. The best is to let go. Or else, hold on to the moment. We finally agree to call our families and told them that we are fine at where we are. Just to keep them happy.

But no goodbye is easy. They said we should keep them in the heart. As if it is that simple. The hole is sometimes too wide to mend. I locked my self in the room, thinking hard to cope with this. No no, none present could replace other’s presence. And it hits me once again, right at the heart.

From my deepest condolescence.

Miss Steel Muscles

2009-05-18T13:30:00.000-07:00

After a yoga class, I had a long conversation with a girlfriend. I haven’t rolled up my yoga mat and sat on it. Then I explained to her how yoga was the solution for my worst brokenhearted case and she didn’t believe it. Well, she believed at the yoga part, but not the brokenhearted case. Sad saidly, I did have my heart bruised and wounded, when I had not sleep a wink and had no appetite at all. She said, no way, because I always have guys around me, I am strong and always be all cheery and smily.

This afternoon I had an online conversation with a guy who just stole a piece of my heart. I stole as well, a big piece ;) I was joking around, told him that he was in my top ten list. He didn’t believe it, and said he must be on the top 50. “That’s too much to handle. Come on, I am a human, not a sex machine.” He laughed so hard, and I know I just stole another piece.

A friend asked what I have been doing this holiday. Nothing. I woke up this morning with a nauseous feeling and an something weird happened in my digestive system. He said I don’t have to worry, nothing serious. But I was worried. I am OK now, but I’ve been learning to listen to my body and understand it. One thing I learn, I should be more careful. Eventhough he sees me not very picky about food, even the disgusting one. My stomach is not as strong as my mouth, you know.

Sometimes I wish I can be as as tough as you all see me.

Somewhere in Everywhere

2009-05-10T01:50:00.000-07:00

A week doesn’t seem too long. Even more when you have a project to submit, a presentation to show and a party to merry. In between I still have to squeeze in vegetarian food combining menu and an exercise program just to keep me less guilty indulging the daily product. Do not forget to mention a shopping spree for the souvenirs, a trip to another town to visit a friend and also doing the laundry after midnight. Gees, no wonder today I just want to embrace my laziness.

And amongst those days, sometimes I didn’t pay any attention to who were with me all this time. To talk over small cups of coffee at very late at night or just to make sure someone was there to give me courage to go on. At the very last dinner I tried my best to cook the spaghetti oglio which was too oily, and broccoli which was too soft. They said they like the food, but I know they were just being nice. But we had fun anyway. We always had a lot of fun. Imitating our teachers or our bosses or just simply make a comment on silly things on the internet.

I’ve been moving to fast, sometimes I just do things under my consciousness. I laughed so hard and cry so loud. All those lovely people are the best to keep me in insanity. They came to cheer me at my presentation time, and I cheered them up with my silly actions. We cheered again with lots of beers or strong coffee afterwards. Then today suddenly the reality again hits me in the face. That you’re not here now.

I’m not good at handling goodbyes. When we both wave our hands, see the distance between us grows further and more further and our faces fade into blur pictures of memories – me comments on facebook

Random notes on a rainy day

2009-04-27T06:43:00.000-07:00

The cyan swim suit will be taken of off the shelves and have fun. With me of course. And my beer belly. | I have over the winter fling, and the remaining is only a bit of our sweet time. The rest is history. | This morning bread and butter breakfast tasted oh so good, I think they are mean to be for each other. | When I saw the picture of my favorite place on earth, posted on her blog, I was like… wow, amazing! So, what the hell am I doing here, when I have lived in the spotlight of beauty? | The clouds now are chasing each other and marching to the north. What’s in there? If I could just ride on them and see it for my self. | The sky is blue and I know what I want to do. Pampering my self with olive body butter and straciatella yoghurt. One for my tanning arms and one for my light mind. | Meanwhile now, I and my babe are doing the daydreaming. About our summer in Adriatic sea, where we sip our Prosseco, reply those guys who shout “Ciao, bella” with smiles, and capture ourselves in exotic pose. | Ah, I love those big eyes and fairly white skin! | When it was raining outside, I sat up on my bed and popped the question: what’s the best thing to do when it the rain is falling heavily outside? You might answer “running around in the rain.” The answer flashed in my mind, “No, holding you.” But I keep quiet.|

Rainfall spatial variability is often ignored, also is highly locally variable, storm fronts moving over an area - Process Modelling lecture notes

So, have faith that it will pass on, baby :)

Leaving Winter. Welcoming Spring.

2009-03-17T10:14:00.000-07:00

This kind of environment hits me at my weakest point. For 6 months I've been here, I have cried 3 times at the train station. Every now and then, I have to face it, and this time the rate is quite rapid.

As a girl who demands an independent at utmost priority, I know I could not rely on others and gegelendotan on everyone.
I can not hold your hand and beg you to stay, because I know people have to move on. Even after sometimes, I have to move on as well. But still I must face empty space and ghost of them. Turn the tv on until I fall asleep to feel less alone. Plug in my iPod and turn on the speaker volume at max. Avoid Symmetry by Mew in order to chase away the mellow girl in me, and tune in to positive vibe of Swing Out Sister instead.

A good friend of mine thinks I am too happy. Too happy to share her gloomy shade. No fella, you are not that right. For sure I want to be happy at all times, but then, I am human with emotions. And that's including the negative one. But yeah, life goes on, and no matter how weak I am tempted by the farewells, I shall continue my step again. Countless I have written in this page, in life people come and go. As I welcome them all smily, I indeed hold back the tears and ready for a new adventure.

Winter might go now. A friend opened his hands wide and shout to the air, "Welcome, Spring!" Though I still feel like winter because of the weather, but I sense that days have been a bit longer.
And I'm pretty sure you stay here longer. Longer that you would know *tap my chest*

"Can you lose your favorite person without losing yourself?" - Stargirl

Positive side of a torture

2009-02-23T10:56:00.000-08:00

Terbitkan Entri

I yawned and yawned to resist from getting back to sleep. Okay, in the next one hour I have to find a way to get this bundle of stuff inside my head. Exhausted, I sat on the edge of my bed, gave my self a pampering 5 minutes to saturate everything.

An unexpected phonecall distracted me a little, but its morning greetings and the best of luck has magically recharged my energy to a higher level. All the way from home to the exam room, I was all smily.

They said it’s gonna be a black Monday. I found my self wearing turqoise blue, and only some people wore black outfit. So, apparently it’s not that black.

Melanie to Hung: “Hung, take off your jacket, and have an orange Monday.”

I cracked my self hard. Gustavo, who sit next to me, smiled and said, “You look very relax.”

I smiled back, “When it comes to an exam, first thing you have to do is have faith and be confidence. The next thing is laugh as much as you can.”

He nodded, couldn’t agree more, probably that’s what he mean.

3 hours of endurance and critical analysis, I’ve never seen my self as focus as that. I could feel something inside my head crumpled and that sounds like Apple Crumble tart which tasted so good.

At 12 that a gorgeous guy asked me, “How was that?”

“That was fun.”

Sure, being asked by a gorgeous guy, what else could I say except something good and positive?

Multi Temporal Analysis

2009-02-21T17:09:00.000-08:00

I’m trying hard not to count the days. They decrease in correspondence to time. Gees. *put the hands inside pockets*

It is funny how we use time to measure moment. On what scale should we weight them? Hmm, let’s say, from October till February, it’s been 5 months of closeness. Do you consider it as long? I’ve had a serious relationship for more than striking 5 years, would you dare to compare? What about the intention of one one-night-stand? A night that leaves stain in your memories, not only for the occurring time, but forever.

Quoting from Star Trek, even forever could be only an extent of a blink of eyes.

Are there any other parameters to scale the moment? Could it be the moment itself?

Let’s give moderate rank for badminton and ice skating session. Probably also for a walk in the park and christmas present hunting. Hmm, swimming has always been my favorite activity, so let’s give it slightly a higher scale, and a more less when it turned down. A cheap talk at the end of the lunch break deserves the same. On the contrary, bicycling time with a boom box gets a good rank but nothing more. So, where does the Oscar go to?

*drum rolls*

I suppose we hand it to countless cups of tea at the edge of the night.

Surprisingly, the happiness crawls in when we do… nothing.

Instead of using time, activity, and cost to measure this, why don’t we use contentment, breath-taking scenes and simply companion?

An alternative way to model temporal analysis - waeeeeeeeeee.... :P

Change Yourself vs Yourself Changed

2009-02-18T06:20:00.000-08:00

The weather here has been quite harsh for me. If it is not really harsh. It was 6 below 0 degrees when I was coming back from Spain. During this month the temperature was uplifted a little to 2 degrees, and I feel warm. Strange. I never knew how I am still survive in this condition.
This brought me to this point of adaptation. Yeah, I know, I've been here for almost 4 months. I always consider the first three months as an adaptation phase, but apparently people always change. So, this adjusting stuff is an on-going process.
What's so good about it? For me, after accepting the condition and smile happily to be where you are, you will turn into a different person. Not a completely 180 degrees revolution, but slightly shifting from who you were before. So, does it make you happy? I can not guarantee that, but certainly the same boredom also could softly kill.
So I started wearing ultra mini short pants while roaming around in the apartment, and I feel happy. This is the skill I learn at this point. Adaptation is not only about changing. It is also about being true to yourself. So, when you succeed, most likely you become the person you want to be, also the person wanted by your surrounding. An equilibrium state whereas everybody is happy.
And should you stop at that stage?
Nothing more fascinated me than the person who never get tired of exploring this world. For sure, I would love to be the one with many possibilities. An alteration? No, it's just me with richer personality.

It feels so good to be reunited with your inner self - as usual my wise ass

Last checked on the week

2009-02-15T14:18:00.000-08:00

I’ve just completed a week with a one day trip to the capital, a sleepover friend, a party filled up with sweethearts and a hearty lunch. The train ride is always a good way to pull my self together again. I have had a headache for few days, and it has completely gone by the time train teleport my body. Guess, I need something other than this city. Or just a plain hours of completely nothing but movement of time and space.

Back at home, to wrap up the week, I checked e-mails and yes, expected e-mails with pictures of me smiling cutishly wide attached has just arrived. Another check on dear friends who are struggling with the deadline of their thesis submission. Glad, everything is going well and surprisingly well arranged. Another checked on dear friends in neighbouring cities and countries, and they are having their time of their life now. Last check on me, I feel happy but a bit lonely.

*deep sigh*

For a girl who demands independency at utmost priority, I failed most of the times like this.

A good buddy is somebody you find in your self – my wisdom ass

Instant Happiness

2009-02-02T16:08:00.000-08:00

Ok, confession. Yesterday I was completely drunk. And it feels… horrible.

Yuck.

Ok, another confession, I’m a newcomer in this business. How can I say, I love them when we were together for only a year? Probably it is too early to judge things.

Ok, another confession, I was stupid enough to force my self to help a friend in his thesis and play badminton while I was drunk. Nothing good came out of it, for sure.

So, after the badminton session I sat quietly on the bench and gaze into the wire fence field boundary.

“What is it?”

“Nothing,” I stared at him a little then continue gazing at the wires.

“What is it?”

“Nothing.”

Nothing. I feel empty. Betrayad. I wanted to be alone.

I’ve been a truly big fan because they gave me such a boost of energy on weekends. Enough energy to feel instant happiness and dance around all night. And after that the exhausting feeling put me into a deep sleep and take away the guilty feeling of waking up late in the next morning. And this time they just sucked away my energy and gave a terrible headache all day. What a big liar.

I shrugged. Okay, I will take this as a time to stop a while. Sometimes in life, you just have to do that. Catch a breath, hold my self not to jump into experiences and just observe more. I want happiness, infinitely and eternally, not a fake instant one in a price of six packs.

Guess I will just stay away from things like this.

At least, until the weekend comes ;)

Happiness comes from the heart. And it is priceless - my own wisdom ass

Fast Lane

2009-01-14T04:56:00.000-08:00

As I always say, time does flies. Deep and heavy sigh. The first part of euro trip has been done, but more to come. The traveling thing was very intense, I hardly cached up my breath. Don’t worry about me, I enjoy traveling at its fullest, and on the contrary I might be sick if I stay too long in a place.

The first four modules have been passed. All the marks and grades have finally arrived and I’m glad I did it well. I could have been trying harder, but let’s just not put too much pressure on my self too, OK? Good. Now we can move on with new things. And surprisedly, I’m a bit clueless about them.

Short course participants have gone, and I still remember clearly how I shed a tear in the train station. New comers appeared with a fresh atmosphere and a bit of curiosity on their faces. I’ve been trying my best to give them the friendly greetings. The lyrics of the Killer’s song stacked in my head “We hope you enjoy your stay. It’s good to have you with us, even it’s just for the day.”

Ah, why does it always be like this? People come and go. Living in a fast lane. How can I hold on to some moments of life? To a wonderful time and beautiful faces?

Move Your Feet

2008-12-15T14:14:00.000-08:00

Days have been flying recently. From GIS exam, Group Application Project until the result came out. From Sushi at Rotterdam, Vermeer in Delft until Batavia Werf in Lelystad. From spicy Tom Yam soup, brocoli with curry sauce, crunchy tempura wanna-be until delicious stuffed peppers. From overwhelmed ice skating, meditative swimming and competitive badminton. Not too mention the most favorite ride, bicycling here and there and everywhere.

I can not believe, it is almot three months. But the sympthoms thas has been happening to me are quite clear. I begin to miss everything that’s not here. Not every single thing, but each of them stroked me a bit hard. Stephen Chow movie accompanied by my brother or the way my father adjust his glasses. The sound of music box from my mother’s powder container and the sincere smile from my auntie’s face. I missed to may birthday, but I managed to join the wine surprise party with only voices.

The most pain-stakingly part in the heart was reading a touchy notes from a dear best friend. Everything seems so sweet, and I want to gulp them again like a cup of tea we used to have. At the same time, it tasted bitter, it probably quite a while until our next adventure together. Our dreams about riding miyo around java islands collide with the scene where we sit side by side on the airplane, which flies over this continent.

Well, apart from all the good things here, I decided to take a break. Of course the journey will be different without my best traveling buddy. I’m quite sure the ghost of her will be my my side, although she’s never been to Europe before.

Anyhow, I have to step my feet. Nowadays, it’s me who shout the command, not you or anybody else. Not even life stages.

The Tiger and the Snow

2008-11-24T14:28:00.000-08:00

It was late at night, but we decided to go out. It is always great to be outdoor. The white sprinkles from the sky dropped on my head. I know my hair would be damped, but I just could not resist having it in my head. I didn’t know either if I have one or two in my eyelashes, and considered as nice things. The cold breezes blew mildly, but definitely it was still too cold for me. Gladly I wrapped tight by beautiful turquoise winter jacket and this unexplainable happiness wrapped my heart warmly.

It was good that I have waterproof shoes so I can step on the snow. The piled snow wasn’t too high, but still you could not trace my tracks. We goofed around like penguins. I stepped heavily on the snow to hear the sound which I love so much, crack crack crack. I can hear it clearly, but I feel like... flying.

winter came by my bedroom today

falling in rows and covering the lane

morning shone on my windows today

passing the time I slumber away

to kill all the day

someone came by my bedroom today

swaying around, then silently away

someone left home and my bedroom today

left by the time I slumbered away

to kill all the day

In The Afternoon – the Cardigans

Snow makes the winter worth living – a bestfriend, Q.

Cloudy Sky

2008-11-18T13:19:00.000-08:00

In the afternoon I walked alone to the university and feel the breezy drizzling raindrops on my lips. It tasted, plain. My new pair of brown boots surely a waterproof, so I keep on walking anyway. It’s been extremely gloomy since this morning. I try to imagine my favorite Banda purplish sky but I guess it is not wise to compare one place to another. Nothing can replace what I miss, but nothing I can do anyway. In life, so many things come and go, sometimes it’s hard to hold on to some moments. I close my eyes and imagine that someday this will be the thing I miss. Crazy cloudy sky, I feel like an actress playing in a horror movie. I never felt like that before. Most of the time, I naively act as a teenage high school girl in her imaginative world. The girl who is freak, curious, sharp but in the same time very poetic. Sometimes she walks alone and pampers herself with her me-time. Sometimes she is just one of the crowds and satisfies to feel the friend inside her. But most of the time, she’s in love. Cheesy spontaneous love.

I'd catch some stars for you, and just for you
I'd paint the grey sky blue, and just for you
so don't tell me you want the rain, from a cloudy sky
to wash away the pain, that I've given you again
I've always tried to find, what satisfies your mind
but I will never know, where you are to go
but I want you to know, do you want a golden ring
I would buy you anything.

Cloudy Sky – The Cardigans

Bloody Blah Blah Blah

2008-11-04T15:00:00.000-08:00

We have been struggling with the book. Actually, the content in it. I was up until 4 last night, tried hard to get everything into my head. Reading and learning are fun in someway, but understand things and stuff them inside your brain is another thing. We invented the terms bloody and virus and all the nasty things just to cheer us up, but still, this is something we have to go through.

It’s been years. And I remember so well those kinds of days. The sleepless nights and hopeless sight from my eyes. The way I prepared my best pen along with my must-have mechanical pencil. And after the day, I went home in the sleepiest manner one could ever have, and had my most peaceful sleep. The next day I could paint a smile in my face.

In here, I am expecting something else.

A bottle, chips and you as a beer bud.

We will survive, believe me.

And in my mind I can picture something like this after I handed in the answer sheet “That was fun!”

Combo

2008-10-23T14:44:00.000-07:00

I drank my Vietnamese tea, served by my Vietnamese friend. It tasted a bit bitter in my tongue but it was soothing. We have chips as a companion but I was not into something spicy. His room, up in the 9th floor, for sure has a very nice view. Beautiful. We stood next to each other, by the window and look out side. It was dark, and this city is not that lively, so there is nothing much to see. He dreamt about escaping to the capital and I just smiled. I’m not into big city, and there’s nowhere else I’d rather be than being here. Well, the white sandy beach is preferably but I’ve dreamt to be here for so long, so I guess I really shouldn’t complain. I looked for the moon but he said it is on the other side of the city, so we could not see it.
Next time it will be tea and the sun. It’s a combo. A killer combination.
But then I could not think about anything. But you.

Coffee Survival

2008-10-04T16:47:00.000-07:00

So, after 2 I closed down some tabs on my firefox. An hour ago, I had a very late evening tea with a friend from Syria. Two hours ago I tried to play some song on the piano. 6 hours ago, I was in Germany.

My windows media player is playing all the Carpenter hits and some songs from Five for Fighting. If the song is not too loud, I can hear the noise from the wind which is blowing outside. Gees, it must be crazy freezing cold out there.

I am curling under my ivory white duvet and then grabbing Doraemon by the hand. I promised my self to get some sleep after this. I prefer tea other than coffee is simply because I want to get some sleep whenever I intend to.

It is exactly what happened back in Banda Aceh. In the small city, the key of survival is how you manage to get through the weekend without the killer boredom feeling. One good thing is, Banda Aceh has this strong thick black coffee that magically puts me to sleep easily.

After the Dance

2008-09-27T03:58:00.000-07:00

It seems that the universe stopped evolving, and we were the one who spin. After one bottle I started to join the crowd. Tajakistan guy was pushing me to the inner circle and there, I tried to move my body. Indian song was in the air, and Ganesh danced in front of me with his Nepal style. I copy cat him, and one of his friends patted me on the shoulder “You are really good.” We also had fun with Ethiopian song and Uganda music, and one of the senior ladies taught me how hard it is to do African dance. The DJ played my favorite dance hits, Hips Don’t Lie by Shakira and I could not stand still any longer. “Oh baby, when you talked like that, you make the woman go mad!” accompanied by Thai guy, my fellow from home country, Nepal girl and I don’t care about the others because I feel this adrenaline rushed in my blood. Time for latino musica, Rodrigo took me by the hand and spin me around and around and around while I did a wanna be salsa dance. It seems the world stopped moving and it was only me who was busy and contented revolving.

Life might not be the party we always want, but since we’re here, we should dance.

- Quotes I’ve read from Scrapbooks stickers.

Open Hands

2008-09-24T21:45:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow will be full entire two weeks that I’ve been in this city. Many things happened, but still I considered days gone by quite slowly here. Other than adjusting with new climate (that’s the hardest thing for me), new system, and new people, mostly I spent times sleeping or else, cooking. Once, I came to a best friend’s room, and we were tuning to youtube and sang along with all our hearts. To our surprise, there are some of karaoke videos in youtube, so the absent of happy puppy could be eliminated a little.

I came here with in group of more than 10 persons. The number has been added up until now. That is quite a lot, in my opinion. A friend said, that I don’t have to worry about homesick. Well, why should I feel homesick, if I carry a home whenever I go? The thing is, I didn’t expect that the problem could arise between us, the people who comes from same land. Are we look alike? Or are we just a personal self with solitude mind? Do you expect your neighbor like the music you play loud everyday? Or do you adjust with the odd time his alarm clock starts ticking?

The temperature has been starting to drop, bit by bit, and I’m still wishing the sun to come out. Yeah, some might say, in your dreams, but you can not stand against my faith. Although, it is scientifically proven that autumn is making its way to this town. But hey it is me, the girl who likes to be drawn in her own thought. So, tonight, let me dream away that we will be just fine here and the temperature will be friendly for our tropical body and mind.

The key of survival is accepting the condition
- my own wise-ass wisdom

Smile! You're on Sax TV!

2008-09-20T22:21:00.000-07:00

My 15 minutes of fam.
Enjoy.

Sax Tv.
http://www.sax.nu/SaxTV/tabid/223/newsid657/5174/Filmpje-I-like-the-wafels/Default.aspx

Black and white and everything in between

2008-09-20T03:33:00.001-07:00

I try so hard not to judge and not to see things black and white.

Because, I don’t always believe black is the bad side and white is the good side. If I stay too long in one place, then everything become either pitch black, or cleanly white. Sometimes there is something in between, but not too much.

Moving out, or in, challenge me to counter everything in my head, because then I meet various people and face lots of choices.

Does it make me see things in grey shade? Or sephia?

No, it becomes colorful.

Picnic in the Park

2008-09-17T15:00:00.000-07:00

We're gonna have a picnic in the park.
You, and me, and all the people we love.
We're gonna have ginger ale or temulawak or anything you like.
I will walk on the sidewalk and you will hold my hand.
We're gonna stop by the ice cream parlor and taste the rum raisin flavor.
You will see a decent house and dream we are the oma opa who had the tea.
I stop by at the window of pizza restaurant and pretend we order margerita.
You stop as well, and steal a kiss.

And this is what I mean about I like to dream big.

The Space Between Us

2008-09-16T22:27:00.001-07:00

It was 5 o’clock in the morning and I have already waken up. I laid on the bed with the white sheet on it. Too dark to open the window and the silence was ticking bold.
I hold my breath and gazed at the room I am in.
It was not that hard, I have done this before. But still, there was this uncontrollable feeling I have in my chest.
Do I miss home? Do I really want to be here today?
I have made two modular origami and placed them on the window sill. By the time I looked at them I realized, that I am totally alone in this universe. But not exactly lonely, I believe my self will take care of me while I stepped my feet again.
So, I convinced my self, once again, that this is the right path I am in. Are you with me?

The Beginning

2008-09-16T22:01:00.000-07:00

So, I decided to record eveything in this page. Just wish me luck that I can push my self hard enough to write amongst all the activities I have in here. More ever, wish me luck that I have enough activities to note down.